Writing a Dissertation

September 30, 2009

Reading schmeading

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amelia @ 11:43 am

Sometimes you just have to trust your gut.

Up until last week I had been working really hard to follow a certain order of doing things for completing the dissertation. It was an order that a number of books suggested and one with which my advisor did not vehemently disagree.

So we brainstormed. Then I wrote the research question, and we spent multiple hours across two days revising the language of the question. I wrote the pre-proposal. We tinkered with the pre-proposal.  Once the pre-proposal was done the next step was to begin reading and taking notes for the literature review.

I spent three weeks reading for the literature review, and during that time I felt like I was just spinning my wheels. I would read and take notes, and take notes, and take more notes, but it all felt really directionless.  I don’t like directionless.  I can do the whole being productively lost thing, but this reading and note-taking was not feeling productive.  Perhaps this is what works for other dissertators.  Maybe they need to figure out the research question and then go do reading on the key things related to their question to make sure that no one has done what they are doing or see where specifically they are intervening in the conversation.  Maybe their project only needs one literature review section.   Me, well, I am special!  (but I’m sure you gathered that already).  And my project is special!

For now I have abandoned the reading in favor of writing.  It is time to write this whole proposal and see where things go from there.  Frankly I have done more productive thinking about the project and realized some new directions and changes I should make in it so that it will be a better project because I am WRITING not READING.

I will return to the reading in time, but even though the writing hurts more (it burns, it burns!), I feel like I have accomplished more at the end of the day if I have only written 3 pages than if I read through 4 books.

September 29, 2009

Things I’m Looking at When I Should be Writing

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amelia @ 7:02 pm

As someone who bikes to her office each day, I am loving this bowler style bike helmet (yup, that is a certified, safety inspected bike helmet) and the various other stylish ones from Bobbin.

Helpful Hints

Filed under: Helpful Hints — Amelia @ 11:10 am

Throughout the course of this dissertation writing experience I will do my best to share with you not only the emotional ups and downs of my adventure, but I will also try, as often as such things occur to me, to share some down-right practical advice and tips.

Today’s topic:  book organization.

While I have already addressed one aspect of book/research organization in the past, I have a feeling that there will be many facets of this that will require coverage in the coming months.

I spent some time this weekend making room for more books.   Truthfully that was a bit of a challenge at this point as my house was already overrun with books long before I began my PhD.  I did, however, manage to set aside one whole long shelf for all the books that I have checked out of the library and the many more that are to come.  I also side aside half of the shelf above that one.  Books yet to be read will remain on the lower shelf vertically until completed.  After completion they will move to the upper shelf and will get stacked horizontally.  Visually this will help me keep track of my progress and help me to maintain some order within the chaos.

September 28, 2009

long duree

Filed under: Uncategorized — Amelia @ 6:52 pm

There is something about this dissertating process that scares me. Okay, actually there are many aspects of it that scare me, but the seemingly interminable nature of it… It is like this giant wave that comes over me, taking me out to sea, and out there I can see no land.  I am used to having to push myself, to set goals, and establish timelines and deadlines.  But unlike a conference paper or a seminar paper or even the experience of writing my candidacy exams, the dissertation has (what feels like) no end.

I love my topic, but the philosophical material I must navigate is tricky, the hybridization of the theoretical realm with material one is a delicate process, and sometimes I can’t see the forest from the trees.  There is a certain fear of falling down the rabbit hole and never coming out again.

I guess this is what it is like to stop being a student and to become a scholar.

September 25, 2009

A Poem in Honor of the First Week of Classes

Filed under: Random Musings, Teaching — Amelia @ 2:56 pm

The first day of school is like a first date.

There is the same type of jittery nervousness – I hope they like me. Remember: be polite and smile. And, oh yah, don’t say anything stupid.

Both events are cause for much time spent tearing apart one’s closet looking for that oh so perfect outfit, which conveys a sophisticated coolness with a dash of allure. Some dates and some first days of school are cause for shopping.

However, neither warrant new sexy underwear: For on your first day of school comfort and a lack of panty lines happen to be key. For a first date, simplicity, as he will not be getting into your pants after a cocktail and dinner no matter how good a conversationalist he might be or how many doors he may open for you.

Both the first date and the first day of school are not necessarily good indicators of what is to come. Just because your date can pull off funny and witty for one night does not mean he actually is. And just because your professor is a stern and demanding hard-ass during that first lecture not mean he actually is. However, if your date is a stern and demanding hard-ass, it is doubtful that a second date might reveal his better side. For your professor, this same inversion does not necessarily work, for like the date, just because your professor is funny and witty for one lecture does not mean that will hold, so in both cases a second date and second class are in order.

The difference between the first day of school and a first date is that no matter how well or badly the first date goes, you don’t have to go out with him again. With school, well, there is always a second day, a third, a fourth and 240 more days to go after that. And for that matter many, many, many more years to go.

September 15, 2009

And the new quarter shall soon decend upon us

Filed under: Random Musings, Writing — Amelia @ 7:04 pm

I am someone who likes order: I love “to do” lists and crossing things off of them, I like looking at my ical and seeing my day planned for me (in various colors coordinating to categories of tasks), and my syllabi are works of organizational genius.  I like pattern and routine for these are stabilizing things.   (Don’t mock me – this is how I cope).

I also like planning and test runs of things. This week is a test week of the term ahead. Yes, I know that sounds like a silly thing, but I don’t enjoy being three weeks into the term and feeling like still don’t quite have my feet under me yet. So I am working out what this fall quarter’s routine will be like: gym, teaching, tutoring, meetings, and writing, writing, writing, and oh yeah, did I mention WRITING!

The gym is an easy one and I am already back into the timing of that. Everything is set for the class I will be teaching and I am comfortable with the time of day and the room in which I will be instructing (lets just say I will do everything in my power in the future to avoid teaching a 3:30pm or 5:30pm section in a room the size of a shoe box!). The writing center schedule will get worked out over the next week or so. And many of my routine meetings are already set. The writing thing, however, remains the issue.

Truthfully the writing itself is not so much the issue (at this moment.  Trust me, i am sure it will be in the future), but the location in which said writing will be taking place is still up in the air.

I go back and forth on the whole writing at home thing. Let me first state that I don’t have a designated study in the home and so my bedroom doubles as my work area. I am sure this is probably bad for my psyche in many ways (the giant 10′x7′ book shelf opposite my bed full of all the shit I need to read), but dude, no one pays me anywhere near enough to afford a delux two bedroom apartment all for my little self and my millions of books right now.  But there are many pros to working at home – access to all of my books, access to the fridge so I do not have to pack and carry a lunch and a million snacks with me in addition to all the books to the library, my own bathroom, and the opportunity to write in a pair of jeans and a bra if I so choose (I think the library staff frowns upon such things).  The down side does happen to be all of the other stuff I could be doing when at home which sometimes leads to distraction, like vacuuming, laundry, dealing with phone calls that can only reasonably be made during business hours, etc.

On the other hand, I LOVE libraries.  I am not 100% certain if I yet love our new library.  But I LOVE working in libraries.  I am still iffy about this library because I have not found my spot yet.  You know, that spot in which you must sit, for it is quiet and perfect and leads to great productivity.  Well, I’ve not discovered it yet.  I thought I had it until last weekend.   I was in the library on Saturday working away and all the football fans kept coming in and out of the library, in and out, and talking REALLY LOUDLY like they had never seen a library before.  And then there was a friggin’ pre-football party held in the library complete with the Marching Band.  Yes, the band marched and played through the library (!!!)  A marching band is not conducive to working on my dissertation!

In addition to not being able to shout, “Hey, do you think you could keep that tuba down!!!!!” there are some other draw backs to the library as a primary work space.  First, it is a pain in the ass to transport books with me each day because the bag gets heavy as I bike up to the library, and invariably I have left some book that would be most useful at home or some scrap of paper with some note on it on my desk.  Second, there is that whole having to wear pants while writing in library.  I mean, really, come on now, how boring of you. Third, safety.  I know that this is not the most polite thing to write, but I think it is true for most all of us at a large school – the anonymity granted by the massiveness of this place breeds a certain amount of unfamiliarity and distrust.  What I mean is that when I want to go to the bathroom, I don’t want to have to pack up all of my books, my computer, my bag and my lunch for the two minute trip to the bathroom only to return to set everything up again.  Every now and again I do prevail upon the kindness of strangers and ask someone sitting near by if he or she would mind watching my stuff, and most people are kind and do so, but it still leaves me feeling uneasy — not because the person I have asked seems to be shady, but because anything could happen and I would never hold that other person liable or expect someone to bodily defend my copy of Discipline and Punish or the pencil case I have had since middle school.

So for now the jury is still out on where the ultimate writing spot shall be.  And I shall continue to long for and office or study to call my very own (while I write this post from my bed).

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